To Fall in love with yourself is the first Secret to Happiness- Robert Morley
I know, you have already read so many self love post during the time of Valentines Day. The concept of self love is so liberating that I decided to write about it anyway.Hope you don’t mind reading one more of similar post.
We often confuse Self love with Pampering. Getting a body massage, a bubble bath or manicure is not Self Love. It has much more meaning than pampering yourself.
There were times, I used to depend on people to make my life happening and cling on to many unhealthy friendships where I give in everything to make the other person happy and get exploited and hurt myself all the time.There were times when someone pass a comment on my body type/ the crooked teeth, or the fat nose, I used to get very offended and feel very bad about myself. There were days I cried because I do not have a good company to go out for a coffee or a Pizza. Those days the thought of being not accepted by a cool group, missing a party even though you are tired was a nightmare.
As soon as something goes out of the comfort zone, the situation became stressful and depressing. Because, I always depended on others for creating happiness. That is when I decided create the happiness myself.
I cut off all the bad relationships I was holding on to and I started choosing people more carefully. But I still keep a distance. I don’t let myself affected by the body shaming/ mean comments, people pass on me. It does not affect me when people say I have lot of make up on my face or you are posting on Instagram to show off. Because I love the way I am, some one judging on it should not affect me.
Self Love is taking control of your life, not getting worried of people’s approval, not affected by the judgement and most of all, loving yourself as the way you are by accepting all your flaws.
It is not about being happy and positive all the time. It’s okay to be feel low at times, get angry. Accept your flaws, your weakness, your limitations, rather than beating yourself internally.
Self Love is an On-going process.You cannot just wake up one day and be a new person and say that you are all filled with self-love.It is something you have to practice each and every day.
Let’s Start off with smaller things:
- Try to deviate the focus to positive things ,whenever you are caught up in a negative thought.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
- Take out enough time to care your mind , body and soul
- Stop comparing yourself with others. Instead start to feel grateful for the things you have in life. Make a gratitude list whenever possible
- Start doing the things which makes you happy, like reading a book, watering plants, going for a trek etc. This will refresh the mind and soul.
- Forgive yourself and move on. We are not always perfect and cannot be perfect. Its okay to do mistakes. But, once it is past, Let it go.
- Set Goals in life. It need not be a long term goal. Set smaller everyday goals, like drink 8 glass of water everyday, clean up your wardrobe, or walk 3 km in the park etc. Once you accomplish one goal, you feel proud of yourself and you will start to appreciate and respect yourself more.
Hope this helps you in some way to get one step closer to Self Love.